Anticipation

I just finished reading the last few posts of my blog from last summer. It was great to read, but I feel sad for my former self if that makes sense. I was so sad to leave France. I can remember my feelings so vividly. But I told myself in my blog post, that I would come back- that's the only way I could deal with leaving, and look at me now! (I'm gettin paper)

I have one more full day at my house tomorrow. I then leave for Atlanta on Friday to pick up my passport/visa and spend the night before leaving America on Saturday for Paris. I have spent most of today packing. I will finish up tomorrow, but I have packed all my clothes at least in my big suitcase. It is so heavy. I feel bad for my friend who is meeting me at Charles de Gaulle, Nico, because he will probably be in charge of that bag when we go into the city-- sorry haha ;). I am assuming we will take the RER, but I have no idea and am letting him make all those decisions. My other suitcase is full of shoes and then odds and ends-- medicine, toiletries, pictures, accessories, whatever I deem important enough to accompany me for my year-long journey.

My friend, Elizabeth, came to visit me this past weekend. It was wonderful seeing her one last time. She helped me pack and gave me advice while she was here-- I consider her the master since she backpacked through Europe for 8 months. She was very stern with me and didn't let me pack stupid things I absolutely wanted to take (thank you!) Although, I have sneakily added a few things back in :p

I also went to Charlotte for two days to visit other friends, Gina and Pranj. It was fabulous seeing you two! I got back last night and babysat for a family I have babysat for all summer. I am quite close to the kids and parents, so it was sad to say goodbye. They also had two British people staying with them, which was a pleasant surprise. They were around my age, a girl and guy, who have been in America all summer working as soccer coaches in different places each week. Each week they have host families. Pretty cool set up! I enjoyed chatting with them and sharing my study abroad experiences and soon to be au pair experience.

I have been having mixed feelings about leaving my entire life behind and starting a new one. Sometimes I am really scared... sometimes I am antsy and just want to leave! Saying goodbye to my family seems like it will be harder every day. I went from I don't think I will cry when I say bye to most likely I will. Well I'll let my emotions run freely at the airport. I am not embarrassed to be a red, puffy faced mess if that's what I decide to do. Maybe security will be nicer to me, who knows.

All of this is just so incredibly crazy and amazing to me. I really can't fathom that I am moving to Paris in a few days. And this time I will be alone-- not with my study abroad group. I won't be able to relate to others going through my experience, but I think I will be fine. I am moving to a country where I already have good friends, a boyfriend, and what seems to be a very welcoming/warm host family. I will have a lot of support.

I can do this!!